Profile of An Abuser Abusive men also tend to have many characteristics in common. He will often: be jealous and imagine his partner is having affairs. try to isolate his partner. try to control his partner. have a Jekyll and Hyde personality have other problems with the law. have an explosive temper and fly into a rage without provocation. use insults, putdowns or slanderous names to abuse his partner in addition to physical assault tell his partner that the abuse is her fault come from a family where violence is practiced. be more violent when his partner is pregnant or soon after giving birth. deny the beatings or their severity, seeming not to remember them. do whatever it takes to drive his partner away and then whatever it takes to get her back including grabbing the kids, apologizing profusely, sending flowers, crying real tears and promising anything he knows his partner wants to hear repeat the above pattern over and over again. (Adapted from: Transition House Association, Prince Edward Island, April 13, 2000)